Note: This is something I need input on. Fancy a conversation?
The title of this note is probably rather pretentious: I don’t know how to do this properly, but at least I have an idea of what I’d like to try.
Even though I know quite a few people, I don’t feel as much of a sense of belonging as I’d like, and even when I feel it, it’s very rare. This sense of belonging comes from being member of a community. Unfortunately, the majority of people I meet up only in a one-on-one fashion, which does not build that sense of community.
Some ideas on how I could rekindle that sense of community:
When meeting up with someone, ask whether they’d like to have others tag along as well. The answer might be “no” if they want a 1:1 meet-up, which is still fine!
When inviting people to anything I organize, make it clear that anyone is welcome to bring other people as well, even if I don’t know them. (This is a very un-German and rather US thing to do.)
(Post-pandemic) Have a regularly scheduled afternoon for meeting up. The location could be my own (ideal for a boardgames afternoon, for example), but it might also be good to have a fixed cafe to meet up at in case my place isn’t available. (My brain keeps thinking “what if we run out of space?” and “what if we run out of food?” but those are probably good problems to have — and not likely to happen either. )
Hanging out with a group of people (rather than 1:1) is nice because it means people can take a break from being social for a bit.
The task of organising often falls to certain people within a group. Why is that? It is not (exclusively) gender bias, because this happens in all-male (gay) groups as well.
How does “being afraid to commit” play part in this? I myself find it hard to commit to something that others haven’t committed to yet, and I believe others can feel the same.