DARVO is a manipulation tactic to discredit victims of abuse. It stands for:

1. Deny
2. Attack
3. Reverse victim and offender

This can manifest itself in different ways:

1. Deny: Claim that the accusation is just opinion and not grounded in fact, or the accuser is overly sensitive or blowing things out of proportion.

2. Attack: Claim the accuser is abusing drugs, has mental health problems, or is lying/is a liar.

3. Reverse victim and offender: Claim the accuser is really the one perpetrating the harm, out to ruin their life and/or their career.

This is not an exhaustive list of ways that this can manifest itself.

DARVO is insidious, but once you know what it is and how it manifest itself, it becomes much easier to spot as it is happening.

At a former employer, I resigned and shared the reason for my leaving with the team (ethical concerns that were being swept under the rug). I got summoned into a call with HR, which went as follows:

1. They told me that my reason for leaving is just my opinion. (Deny the accusation, i.e. what I said)

2. They told me that I violated the company rules by bringing up ethical concerns (Attack the accuser/victim, i.e. me)

3. They pleaded with me: How is my team supposed to continue to function after the damage that I‘ve caused? (Reverse victim and offender)

Practically textbook DARVO (and yes, horrific that this psychological manipulation technique is employed by the HR department).