It’s been rather hot. Every day this week got close to 30 °C, and it looks like it’ll remain that way for a few more days. At least it’s not as hot as Rome was.
In acting class, my scene partner unfortunately had to drop out, which means I no longer have anybody to run my scene with. There is some reshuffling happening at the moment and I should have a scene partner again coming week, so all will be fine, but I do find my anxiety going up a little.
I saw a wasp kill a moth and then fly away with it. Nature is gruesome.
I did a double-take yesterday (Saturday) as I saw a M10 tram in Berlin headed all the way to U Turmstraße. The extension opened up just yesterday! I’ve now been long enough in Berlin that I have seen two complete M10 tram extension projects.
I’m on burnout leave as of a few days ago, lasting for another two weeks. It was a long time coming, building up for months.
Last week, in Weeknotes 2023 W35: Fitbit, I wrote about how I managed to get myself removed from a frustrating project (lasting 11 months with almost no outcome) and moved onto a new project. That new project quickly got all the signs of becoming frustrating as well. On Monday, I had a call with my manager to request that I be removed from this new project too, for fear of burnout. I got approval, but on Tuesday morning I realized that I was too far gone and urgently needed medical leave anyway.
I’m a highly skilled software engineer, and I feel that my skills are not being put to good use at all. When I look back at the last half year, the list of things I achieved is remarkably short. This isn’t because I’m not capable, but because the environment that I work in just isn’t conducive for getting stuff done. I can absolutely deliver high-quality stuff quickly — if you let me.
I don’t know what this means for me going forward. I’d like to make things work at my current employer. In any case, I’ll wait with making any decision until my sick leave is over, and perhaps it wouldn’t be a bad idea to stop thinking about work altogether for the next two weeks, but I know from experience that this is a difficult request.
Lastly, I know that there are coworkers reading these weeknotes. It might be odd for me to write about burnout publicly, but aren’t we all humans with our own struggles and problems? If we aren’t honest and open about ourselves, then we cannot expect clear communication, and we certainly cannot expect to work together effectively.
I was greeted by this cursed thing in Asana (before I went on burnout leave):
It says “Choose an option below to encourage and appreciate the team.”
This shit is cursed because this really is not a good way to have a conversation. Why must technology literally do anything to prevent humans from communicating with each other like human beings?
A sticker reaction is not the beginning of a conversation; it’s the end. It is the result of a minimum of effort; you can’t respond to a sticker. I clicked on the damn ruby heart already Dorothy, what more do you expect me to do?!
Also — what are these stickers even? A happy bear carrying red balls? Someone planting a flag at the summit even though the project is off track? A ruby heart because you… like that the project is off track? I am so confused.
As I said: cursed.
I made a sourdough loaf after a long time of not doing any baking:
I entirely failed at shaping it properly, as you can tell from the photo. I’m not bothered by it; it’s about the taste, and the taste is good indeed.
I finished short story 1 of 26. Go read it: Abattoir.
I began collecting Reflections on my own stories so that I can analyse what I myself wrote, figuring out what worked well and what didn’t, with the purpose of becoming a better writer.
A few days ago I began drafting the second story, Buried, starting with a B because that is the second letter of the alphabet. I think I like having two stories in flight, as it allows me to switch to a different story when I get stuck with one.
Art in the Pre-Apocalypse (Jacob Geller)
let’s talk about authenticity (Daniel Trasher): I like un-edited streams of thought like this.
The Danger of Building an Audience for Authors (Yarn Ray). Quote: “Better to imagine a day you would love to live a thousand times than a night you are desperate to live just once.”
Giraffes are Much More Complex Than We Thought (Hank Green): Giraffes are amazing!
Digital Markets Act: Commission designates six gatekeepers: Ooh, progress.
Out of the Software Crisis: Gardening (Jim Nielsen, reading Baldur Bjarnason’s book): I quite like “Software is the insights of the development team made manifest.”
Website flexibility (Manuel Moreale): Yep, I like my having full control over my own site for this reason.
Cryptocurrency Startup Loses Encryption Key for Electronic Wallet (Bruce Schneier): I don’t keep up to date with cryptocurrency news anymore — it’s too tiresome usually — but I do like the occasional Schadenfreude.