Weeknotes 2023 W26:

Week of June 26 to July 2, 2023
What are these? These week­notes are a reflection on the past week. I write about anything from hobby projects and work to creativity and mental health. I publish my week­notes every Sunday morning. Consider subscribing via email or using the web feed!

Quick bits:

On Friday, I attended the Brighton Ruby conference. My head wasn’t really in the right space for it. I didn’t really enjoy the conference, but that’s a me problem, not a problem with the conference or the people I met.

At least I’ve got Ruby socks now. Thanks, Andy.

I did meet a bunch of people whom I’ve previously only known from The Internet. That was quite nice. I wish I was mentally in a better spot to be able to make good use of that time.

In part, the reason why Brighton Ruby didn’t click for me is because I’ve lost my passion for software development. If 2023 has made anything very clear for me, it is that creativity is far more important than I ever thought, and having come to that realization, I now need things to fuel that creativity into — and software isn’t it.

I’ve been rather unprepared for my trip to the UK:

I blame COVID-19 for making me not travel for so long and forget these things.

CW: death (feel free to skip to the next section)

The death of a friend (see Week­notes 2023 W25: Friend) has been weighing on me this week.

An entire day of traveling, with lots of waiting, made my mind wander and ruminate. I was not feeling well by the time I arrived in Brighton, but decided to hang out with a bunch of conference goers anyway. That distracted me for a while but felt myself slipping and had to make a quick exit. In my hotel room, I burst out into tears. It hit me, finally, and it hit hard.

I cried about all the other people I lost, too. Grief is unpredictable, and it tends to rip open old wounds.

I went on a long walk along the coastline, and watching the waves relentlessly hammering the stony shore was cathartic. When I got back to the hotel, I scheduled a therapist appointment in Berlin for coming week — a new therapist recommended by a friend. I’ll pay out of pocket for this, but I need professional help.

Anyway, have two random Brighton beach photos.



Week­notes for June 26 to July 2, 2023. Browse the weeknotes archive, get these week­notes via email or subscribe to the web feed.