Weeknotes 2023 W28: Lakeside

Quick bits:

• I upgraded to Bear 2, which needed a few modifications to the process I use to import notes from Bear into my web site (see Importing notes from Bear). All seems to be well — Nanoc’s enable_output_diff option is useful — but there is a chance that I have overlooked something. Let me know if you see anything odd.

• I got notified that a parcel would be delivered between the 13th and the 14th of July. I thought this meant, obviously, that it would instantaneously materialize at exactly midnight. It did not.

• I spent all of Saturday at a forest lakeside beach swimming and playing cards with friends and it was fantastic.

I came back to work after a week of holiday, and had trouble figuring out what to work on — the main project I’m on still has no clear requirements (I talked about this back in Week­notes 2023 W21: Anniversary) and so I’m blocked. There was a meeting intended to clarify requirements and priorities, but all key stakeholders bailed.

I also got my performance review, which stated that my delivery speed is below expectations — delivery speed of the aforementioned project on which, again, I am blocked.

I am sliding into burnout.

Fun fact: The two parts I most recently overhauled on my web site are my CV and my Contact page.

The calendar notifications on my work laptop have started acting up again. Meeting notifications either don’t appear, or appear late — after the meeting has already started, and sometimes when the meeting has been over for hours.

Notification system continue to be the bane of my existence. I wrote about this a long time ago in Week­notes 2022 W34: Insomnia, and the situation hasn’t improved.

When I told a coworker that I’ve had problems with notifications across multiple laptops, multiple platforms (Google/Microsoft), and multiple employers, he pointed out that there is only one common factor: me. He’s technically not wrong, but… what does that mean?

I am starting to suspect that my body emits electromagnetic radiation harmful to technology. (Look, if you’ve got a better explanation, I’m all ears. I am truly out of ideas.)

I had a second psychotherapy appointment earlier this week, and I’m convinced I’ve needed this. Plenty of stuff to talk about, some of which I might write about in these week­notes.

To understand myself a bit better, I made a list of 40–50 things that I want in life: good friends, meaningful work, adequate salary, safety, etc. I then connected up those things with arrows that mean “because” (e.g., I want an adequate salary because I want to have safety). All arrows eventually pointed to one thing: I want to enjoy life. I’m happy to have that as the end goal. Now… how do I get there?

For therapy, I’ve been filling out a psychotherapy questionnaire of about a dozen pages, and it’s been rough. So many of the questions are about topics I don’t want to talk about: topics I would very much like to bury and never talk about again. I’m slowly coming to the realization that therapy is going to be rough, but it’ll pay off in the end.

When I feel anxious, I think of the vastness of the galaxy and the universe, vast in a way that is truly beyond human comprehension. Our planet is a speck of dust on a speck of dust on a speck of dust. Some find it terrify to think about, but I find it strangely calming.

Entertainment:

• Star Trek: Strange New Worlds season 2 episode 5 (“Charades”) was quite enjoyable.

Links:

• What Makes Pink Lakes Turn, Well… Pink? (The Tim Traveller)

• Barely Contained Rage: An Open Letter to Johnson & Johnson (vlogbrothers)

• Can Chess, with Hexagons? (CGP Grey)

• Why is North up? (Map Men)

• You Need To Start Ignoring Yourself

• What Happened to the Space Western? (Lextorias)

• Kellie-Jay & the Neo-Nazis (Shaun)

• What Do We Mean When We Talk About Race?: An insightful first-hand perspective on mixed-race children.

• Actors say Hollywood studios want their AI replicas — for free, forever (The Verge): Dystopian AF.

• Holmdel, New Jersey’s Abandoned Bell Labs: OMG, it’s the set from Severance!