Weeknotes 2023 W28:

What are these? These week­notes are a reflection on the past week. I write about anything from hobby projects and work to creativity and mental health. I publish my week­notes every Sunday morning. Consider subscribing via email or using the web feed!

Quick bits:

I came back to work after a week of holiday, and had trouble figuring out what to work on — the main project I’m on still has no clear requirements (I talked about this back in Week­notes 2023 W21: Anniversary) and so I’m blocked. There was a meeting intended to clarify requirements and priorities, but all key stakeholders bailed.

I also got my performance review, which stated that my delivery speed is below expectations — delivery speed of the aforementioned project on which, again, I am blocked.

I am sliding into burnout.

Fun fact: The two parts I most recently overhauled on my web site are my CV and my Contact page.

The calendar notifications on my work laptop have started acting up again. Meeting notifications either don’t appear, or appear late — after the meeting has already started, and sometimes when the meeting has been over for hours.

Notification system continue to be the bane of my existence. I wrote about this a long time ago in Week­notes 2022 W34: Insomnia, and the situation hasn’t improved.

When I told a coworker that I’ve had problems with notifications across multiple laptops, multiple platforms (Google/Microsoft), and multiple employers, he pointed out that there is only one common factor: me. He’s technically not wrong, but… what does that mean?

I am starting to suspect that my body emits electromagnetic radiation harmful to technology. (Look, if you’ve got a better explanation, I’m all ears. I am truly out of ideas.)

I had a second psychotherapy appointment earlier this week, and I’m convinced I’ve needed this. Plenty of stuff to talk about, some of which I might write about in these week­notes.

To understand myself a bit better, I made a list of 40 – 50 things that I want in life: good friends, meaningful work, adequate salary, safety, etc. I then connected up those things with arrows that mean “because” (e.g., I want an adequate salary because I want to have safety). All arrows eventually pointed to one thing: I want to enjoy life. I’m happy to have that as the end goal. Now… how do I get there?

For therapy, I’ve been filling out a psychotherapy questionnaire of about a dozen pages, and it’s been rough. So many of the questions are about topics I don’t want to talk about: topics I would very much like to bury and never talk about again. I’m slowly coming to the realization that therapy is going to be rough, but it’ll pay off in the end.

When I feel anxious, I think of the vastness of the galaxy and the universe, vast in a way that is truly beyond human comprehension. Our planet is a speck of dust on a speck of dust on a speck of dust. Some find it terrify to think about, but I find it strangely calming.



Week­notes for July 10 to 16, 2023. Browse the weeknotes archive, get these week­notes via email or subscribe to the web feed.